Dear Diary,

I am in that dark place.  Not much is funny right now.  I’m eating, sleeping or training.  I pride myself in blogging about the lighter side of training and racing but today is just not that day.  It’s a dark day.  I don’t want to any more.  I don’t want to get up at 4am, I don’t want to go for a 100 mile bike ride and I don’t want to run for two hours.  I don’t want any of it.  I don’t care if I don’t race Triple T, you can have it, you can keep it.  I want to hang with the fam and drink beer on a nice afternoon.  I want to ride ONLY if I FEEL like it not because there’s a 100 mile ride on my plate.  I want to enjoy it.  I want to just do it because I WANT to, not because I HAVE to.  I suppose I could bag it all right now.  That IS an option but not for me.  It’s not how I’m wired, it’s not how I’m made.  I don’t do ANYTHING unless I think I can do it successfully or prepare in such a way to do so…with anything, not just this tri thing. 

I pride myself in talking about Pleather, cooter bones and how to never trust a fart on a long run.  How you should always carry a pre-packaged moist towelette with you always because you never know when you may have a moment in the bushes.  Snot rockets and the virtues of peeing on a bike, that’s what I’m all about, not this serious shit. 

The darker side of endurance training – NO I’m NOT made for this, NO I don’t LOVE getting up at 4am every Meffen day, NO I don’t really enjoy running that much.  Everyone always thinks I’m a runner because I’m so tall.  Anyway, sometimes, I want to give it up, I don’t give a shit if I don’t do REV3 or 3State3Mountain OR Triple T.  I want to sit home on the sofa like the rest of America.

Today, I did that.  I skipped everything, I played with puppies and drank beer with hubs, we ate pizza and laughed.  It was the most perfect and glorious day.  You know what, it was a really nice day for a bike ride….mmmm, maybe I am made for this shit afterall?

Don’t worry, dear friends, I know what this is.  I am going through my IronBITCH phase.  I know it when it happens and, thankfully, know that it will pass.  For now, I just don’t wanna anymore.

You know what, this is how I know I’m ready. 

Bring IT!

Love,

Missy

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

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I will come back to blogland soon! Life and training of both me and Gunnar is exhausting (and I'm not doing much for Big G). I'm in that serious mode and no one wants to hear about that BORING!

Pleather

This post is not for the faint of heart.  If you are easily disgusted or offended…well, you probably wouldn’t be here in the first place.  Presumably, men get this too, just different.

I awoke to this fire-y itching.  I just think, dry skin.  And then I was itching like a monkey, what the hell?!  I haven’t changed soap or riding shorts.  By the time morning came, I had to investigate.  Mirror in hand, I knew what it was when I saw it…PLEATHER.  Crap, I’m smart enough to know how to combat such an unsightly and irritating ‘deal’ on my whooha.  A little Body Glide never hurt anybody.  Instead, I have been riding in road or tri shorts – whatever is clean, sans lube.  Friction has caused micro sized wounds that have scabbed = itching and unsightly PLEATHER.  Yep, think old handbag or 80 yo lady who has enjoyed many summers in Boca.  Anyway, when will I learn?  Certainly, I won’t be talking about this next year, in the thick of training again!  Geeze.

Next up, 3State3Mountain 100 miler in Chattanooga next weekend.  This week is a recovery week – at 6000 swim, 80 bike, 25 run.  Recovery my ASS!  Country Music Marathon is THIS weekend but I will only be participating as a spectator….in the ‘thunderstorms and possible tornadoes.’  Swear to gawd I heard that on that there TV this morning.  Let’s hope those forecasters are wrong like they usually are.  That’s just not good times for anyone.

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

My interwebs were down for THREE days.  Really, it was kind of a nice break but I missed ‘you guys.’  Not enough to grab the laptop and sit at the coffee shop, but enough to get up at 4:30A and post you some pics!

Friday Mind Dump

1. For those of you that voted on my new Road Bike…yep, Titanium was the big winner.  It was going to be metal, there was no question there.  Hopefully, this bike will have a better shelf life than carbon fiber.  …and NO I’m NOT a hater, I still have a carbon fiber TT bike but I can bet you $ that my next one will be metal, of some kind.  It’s just a camera phone picture but it’s a Lynskey, hand made in Tennessee, of all places.  It’s saaaweeet and lighter than my carbon Bianchi so that does not suck either.  I was able to use all my components except for a few.  I’m a Campy girl so it’s a Lynskey with Campognolo Centaur components.  I’m doing something to support the Italian economy! This has my training wheels on it so I’m sure to gain a little more when I go for the real test with my race wheels.
2. Never underestimate the power of  poo.  This is Power of Poo part Deux, for all my Canadian friends.  Last year I highlighted run splits pre and post poo to show the ‘scientific’ analysis of how it can help your run splits.  Well, I can tell you this, it still holds true.  Did a bike/run brick on Wednesday with a bad gut, could not run, actually had to walk a few steps because I was certain that I was dehydrated or dying.  A poop didn’t occur to  me, it was 5:00pm and I’m a morning pooper.  Holy crap, literally. 
3. Is there anything more a triathlete likes to talk about than poop, farts or the virtues of how to pee while riding a bike?
4. I still can’t pee while riding a bike. 
5. I need to read my training schedule a little closer, last weekend I did 12 hill repeats instead of six.  I think I’m still feeling the affects.
6. It will only make me stronger…or kill me.  Right now, it might kill me.
7. Are ‘Christians’ the only one’s that put up road side memorials?  I’ve never understood them or the car memorial that someone has on their back windshield.  I feel like my mom went long before her time but???  She’d kick my ass if I put her name and ‘years’ on my car window.  C.L.A.S.S.Y.
8. Thanks to all for their input on my bike situation.  The only problem was time, I didn’t have any.  This is still an excellent choice regardless.
9. Yep, STILL Cute….

(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

Critical Failure – R.I.P.

These are words you do NOT want to hear after taking your bike in for a tune up.  These ARE the words my darling hubs heard when they called him regarding my bike…my road bike.  The bike that I’m using to race this year.  The bike that was supposed to get ~125 miles on it this weekend.  He calls me at work and tells me we have to discuss something.  Thankfully, it was the fate of my Carbon Fiber Bianchi and not something worse.  Always be thankful, THINGS can be replaced.

After much discussion, we determine that I need to go and test ride bikes on Friday.  CRRRRRAAAAAPPP, this is not on my agenda, this is not in my budget, this is not in my plan, I don’t like curveballs, I plan.  Now what?  Well, it boils down to this – I could use my TT bike for the rest of the season but I’m not in TT bike shape and the thought of doing 3State3Mountain, REV3 or Triple T is daunting.  No, the TT bike just won’t work here.

More bad news…

Your bike is out of warranty.  They will get you a crash replacement for something something under wholesale but that will take 4-6 weeks to return, for them to approve and blah, blah, blah. OK, I need a new frame.  Well, you need a new fork (got one at home that’s not being used, check!), seat post, cable set (that’s what my bike was in for originally, so OK), bottle cages (we’ll throw those in) and my shorts are toast (I’ll get those later and just hope that my cooter bone and stand up to the pressure, literally).  Now, about that second job I was looking for…My advice to all carbon fiber bike peeps, start saving for your next bike as soon as you can – or just be sure to wreck it under warranty.  You’re going to need it.  Don’t start in on me, it’s a fact.  Yes, it’s a fact that you shouldn’t wreck either but that’s not a choice that one would make.

I had decided long ago that my next bike was going to be metal – of some kind.  My first bike was steel and I loved it, my second bike was carbon, loved it too, it just has a ‘shelf life.’  I don’t want a bike with a shelf life for Pete’s Sake.  Yes, I did have a bike wreck a couple of years ago.  At the time, my bike got the OK.  After years of riding, post wreck, it stressed the bike enough to fail.  So, it was down to light weight steel or titanium…which did I pick!?

Here is my Bianchi that I LOVE as my new, bike room, wall art.  RIP little guy, I loved my plastic bike.  It’s a new day, new time…

This was my second Bianchi, my second road bike.

And yes, I know you can’t get enough of him either.

Bring out the big Guns, here comes Gunnar! 

And big poppa Magnus, drool and all.  Yeah, when you’re 70, you can do whatever you’d like.  Oh, and this is from his good side;)

Oak Barrel Half and YES, I know, he’s really CUTE!

BESIDES a 60 mile bike and some Dave Scott Bricks (10/2 x 3), there was the Oak Barrel/Jack Daniels half marathon thrown in for good measure last weekend.  Our intent was simple, go out faster than training pace, slower than race pace and negative split it….and be ready for Sunday’s workout bright eyed and bushy tailed.  Done, done and done.  I finished in 1:56 which is ~10 minutes off my PR pace but I am perfectly happy with it.  It started out in a down pour and you couldn’t get any wetter.  Soaked to the bone for most of the run, listening to the symphony of sloshing shoes.  I got to meet MCM Mama on the start line.  How she found me, I’ll never know!  Visit her for her race report from a non-Tennessean.  Anyway, cut to the chase – great race, well organized, nice Jack Daniels technical shirts and ‘medals’ made out of Oak Barrels and still smell like whiskey, Brunswick stew and corn bread as our finishers meal and that was the day.  Double thumbs up and do it if you’re ever in the area.  Yes, hilly but it’s Tennessee, it’s just pretty much hilly here….it was pretty, even through the wet.

Where have I been?!  Yes, holy crap.  I have not had 30 minutes to pee, I swear it.  It’s been one helluva training cycle for both me and Gunnar.  In the end, hubs takes the brunt of it all, me falling asleep at 8:00pm and the extra puppy details.  Thankfully, we are getting close, close to Triple T, that is and I know I’ll be ready.  How do you know you’re ready for something you’ve never done before?  I’m not sure but mentally, I’m going to crack soon, physically, I feel as fit as ever and those are my two signs.  Mentally, I start getting mushy in the head, another week and a half and I get a recovery week to sharpen back up.

This week, 9000 swim, 150 bike, 30 run and I don’t feel like I’m close enough to those goals for it being Thursday and all.  I’ll make it, always pull it out of my ass somehow.  How does one 25/7 brick in the a.m.   and another 25 ride later in the afternoon grab ya?  Add in an 80 mile hilly ride the next day and that will be my weekend.  Yeah, Triple T training is WEIRD.

These two slay me…..

Almost perfect...

The day was 78 degrees, it was sunny and the most possible fun was going to be a bike ride. Hurry, hurry, get your stuff, grab bottles, air tires, grab food. Food, mmm, well, I'm out of homemade larabars, and the only thing I have are gels and small packages of Swedish Fish. They're close enough to those gummy electrolyte blocks, right? Threw them in my pocket along with some gels. Crap, headlight, I should be back before dark but you never know what can happen, check, headlight. Gone.

Within the first mile I realize, it's windy, a whole lot windier than I anticipated. Eh, it's still a sunny beautiful day. Oh, there's another cyclist up there, maybe I can catch her. I catch her, we chat, she feels the need to announce her 50 mile ride. I always think that's weird. Of course, if you're announcing, so am I, I raise your 50 mile ride to a 60 mile ride, eat it. I always just think it's weird that people have to announce it to you. I don't give a shit if you rode 15 miles, you're out riding on a nice day. I get it. Reach the first rise and she's gone. It would have been nice to have someone to ride with but, that's that.

Lalala, this isn't SO bad. It's windy but whateves. I see all the usual cows and horses, hi guys. At about miles 30, I feel very bouncy, I look at my reflection and I'm bouncing like I'm spinning too high, no, cadence is 93ish, that's good. I'm not really moving very fast it IS windy. Mmm, my seat is loose? Check, no, seat is not loose. What the hell?! And then it dawns on me, yep, first flat of the season. Joy.


I pull into some farmers driveway and family cemetery and tried to channel the energy of those that were buried there. I said my hellos and don't mind if I set my bike here, do ya? They didn't mind.


Attempt #1 tire changing - fail - I was cussing an my heart started racing. I do NOT want to call home. That is epic fail. Take everything off. Do over.

Attempt #2 - SUCCESS! Went on perfectly, aired up just right, as I stood there admiring my work...a cyclist comes by. Thanks Mr. HunkaCyclist, I don't need your stinkin help, you're 10 minutes too late! I will ALWAYS take an assist when offered but I truly was already done, yay me!

Back on the road, uh, glad I brought that headlight. After my personal victory, I don't know that I passed another soul for miles. It was windy as piss and my almost perfect bike ride turned into a slice of hell. I forgot eye drops and chapstick. My contacts were sandblasted and my lips were bleeding. Very attractive.

Ah well, book it, it's done. All that's left, a half marathon (in the truly FOR FUN fashion) and some Dave Scott Bricks (10/2 x 3, ride 10, run 2, repeat 3 times) on Sunday. Add in some Easter dinner and that will be a wrap! I better get cooking.