Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
Friday, September 26, 2008
5100 yards, an aerohelmet and the great ‘Debate’ of 2008!
Wednesday nite, Excel Triathlete swim practice 6:30-8:00 – as usual, Ironman people in these two lanes, everyone else over here. Got it. Basically, the sets are just longer and swim or pull only – thank God because my legs are all kinds of shot these days. Who can kick, let alone put on a pair of fins!?
At 7:45ish, I look at the guy in the lane with me and say, er, yell (I wear ear plugs) – MY ARMS ARE SORE AND I’M TIRED…HUNGRY TOO. He agreed but I’m no so sure I heard words, grunts maybe.
We finish the final set, Ashley leans over the side and says – 50 x 100’s – that’s what I heard, anyway.
I yelled – WTF? Seriously, it’s 8:05.
Ashley leans over again – NO 5-1-0-0, you just did 5100 yards.
I yelled – WTF (again) and now knew why my shoulders hurt in all new places
As I made an attempt to lift myself out of the pool, I stumbled to the locker room, I think I had my earplugs still in because I’m certain I kept yelling 5100 yards, really? I was so swim drunk it wasn’t even funny. One drive thru chicken sandwich later and I was in the bed with the satisfaction of knowing that’s the farthest I’ve ever swam at once.
Aerohelmet
I like to call it the sperm helmet…not to be confused with Something About Mary. I just think it looks like a giant sperm on my head. Anyway, I got to try out triswami’s aerohelmet that he’s trying to sell. I didn’t think it was going to be a good idea but I HAD to try. Apparently, I move my head too much for the sperm helmet – constantly looking for traffic, deer or a rogue dog. I was wondering WHO was screaming at me in my right ear…it was the sperm helmet every time I moved my head to look over my shoulder. It would scream at me – KEEP YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT, I’M NOT MEANT TO TURN. So, I’ll stick with what I got. At least it doesn’t yell at me.
Great ‘Debate’ of 2008
If you from ‘my’ area, you know exactly what I’m talking about…Should Time Trial bikes be allowed in club rides? What about recumbants? Oh, and tandems, no one wants to be behind a tandem on an uphill or get crushed by them on the downhill. What about the jackasses I saw the other day on a ‘sanctioned’ club ride on the triple – three grown adults? Try to make an evasive maneuver on that POS. Oh, and yeah if you have 650 wheels you best ride together from the rest of us…you’re just too short and because of this, you certainly must not have any bike handling skills. Yeah, if you’re under 18 you probably don’t have enough skills to ride with us either so you best stick to the sidewalk. Parents, sorry, you can’t come either, while your bike is technically a road bike, that attachment thingy on the back so your 8 year old can pedal, yeah, that’s out too. Mountain bikers, you need to stick to the mountain. Hybrids, sorry, not good enough for the roadies or mountain bikers – I don’t have an answer for you on that one.
Skills are skills. I wrecked on my Road Bike at nite once, does that mean I don’t have the right to even ride a TT bike?!? I’ve become very cautious since that wreck. I do NOT ride with people I don’t trust or know. This may be lonely to some and I will ride alone any day than participate in one of ‘their’ wreckless (snob) festivals. Let them go rub on their road bikes together.
SHARE THE ROAD AND BE SAFE OUT THERE.
P.S. Did I mention that I LOVE my road bike?
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Gas Crisis of 2008...man made

Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Off track...for a few days
HOWEVER, on Friday morning I got the call that grannie had passed. Without getting into the circumstances or details, suffice it to say, she lived a long life. Almost 90 years worth. She was living in Michigan. My Dad, her son, was on vacation in Wyoming at the time. He got the call a few days before hand and was able to be there with her, a good thing. So, I had Friday planned as a 1/2 day off to ride a bike with Angie for 100 miles or so. Until I got a phone call that MY Dad was admitted to the hospital with chest pains (history of issues). Now I'm really freaking out - Dad's the last one I've got. We have a small family and he's the last of my immediate, blood relatives. With a family of nurses behind me in MI, I wait for the call on Dad...what's up, what are they doing, does it seem like a big deal? I decided a ride would be good for my mind and spirit, Angie came over and we headed out. Part way, I got the 'all clear' call from Pops (the stress, irregular eating and sleep was causing his issues, imagine that). I was so relieved and the only thing I wanted to do...go home. We circumvented our route and got in 60 instead. After that, it was a whirlwind of travel reservations and getting up to Michigan for viewings, funerals and wakes.
The shining light in all of this is that my cousin and his wife had their first baby in all this craziness. AND, she was born in time to meet grannie for a minute. Maybe that was enough and she new it was her time to pass the torch to the newest generation.
All that crap makes Ironman seem small and insignificant - births, deaths, hospitalizations and two other birthday's! I know it's not and it won't be, but for a short period of time, it was truly the last thing on my mind...in a time that seems my life IS a schedule of swim, bike, run.
Now, where did I leave off, oh yeah, easy run today, no sense in trying to make up what I lost, I just need to pick up what I've got!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
50 Days, are you kidding me?

I love this guy, what a look. It takes some big ones to pull it off...or not, can't see up under there.
Ironman, it'll be here in a minute, I swear!
If you told me it was tomorrow, I'd be ready. Now, would I be ready to hit my time goals, objectives, probably not BUT if you told me it was time, I'd be there and could tough it out. As we all do, I have lots of time to think when I'm out there running at 4sickoclock in the morning. I have made a mental list of things that I will not do after Ironman...at least for a while...er, next season, OK not until December at the earliest...
I WILL NOT:
Get up before 5:00 for any reason EXCEPT to catch a plane and go on vacation...or the dog is puking in the corner. That is a sound that you can not ignore.
Eat Gel of any kind because it's freakin nasty, they're all nasty, they all taste like crap BUT they work. So, I get through my gag reflex and down it...kind of like funneling a beer in college.
Stop at the store in College Grove WITHOUT eating one of their greasy cheeseburgers. It is PURE torture, every time I'm passing through to buy a water and take a pee, she's out there on the front porch grilling cheeseburgers and they smell sooo good.
Swim more than 4000 yards at a time because it just makes me straight up starving AND tired...I'm trying to gnaw on somebody's foot as we make our way through the set. That's not me being irritating, I'm just trying to take hold and grab a bite.
Go to bed at 7:30 under the guise that I'm going to read or watch TV...no you're not, you're going to sleep, let's be honest.
Go to work with wet hair and goggle 'eyes' - and have everyone ask, are you feeling OK? Yes, once and for all, I'm fine, I just LOOK like I got punched in the face.
Ditch family and friends because I have to fill in the blank here swim, bike or run.
Live by a plan or schedule - I will only ride a bike if I wanna not because I haveta - and move workouts around at will.
Feel guilty for sitting on the sofa to watch TV - other than the Olympics, I'm not even sure what's on any more.
I know you're laughing because I say all this now but when post-Ironman depression kicks in, I'm sure I'll resort to 'old habits.' AND what will be more fun than training will the Ironman Louisville people, just knowing that I'm not doing Ironman Louisville...and I can remind them regularly as I bail out at mile 60 of a 100 mile ride. I can't wait!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Pool Manners, 3:30 a.m., recovery is over...
I realize this is not clear, hell, I wasn't clear. Due to my need to watch the Titans opening game on Sunday AND enjoy a few beers that afternoon, I had to get in my long run. Yes, my friends, my alarm went off at 3:30, out of bed at 3:35, coffee in my guts at 3:45 and trying to wrap my brain around a 2:30 run this morning or nite or whatever the hell it is.
I really didn't reset the clock to take the picture either. You can see my disgust...you can also see the fact that I don't even have my hat on right yet. What WAS I thinking!?! Oh well, for the love of football, I swear. Yeah and paid season tickets.
Well, I shoved some coffee down, a banana, peanut butter, hammer gel, water, strapped on (that doesn't wound right at ALL) my fuel belt with all the proper junk, an ipod and some paper towel just because you NEVER know when you might need some paper towel.So why, dear God why, do people insist on seeding themselves in front of you in the pool lane when they are slower than you are? Ego, probably, unknown new guy, maybe. But AFTER you punch me in the head once (and hard), I pass you once and have to rub all over your hairiness to get by (stuck between two guys), do you insist on going in front of me, only to have me do it again, piss you off and you leave the lane? It's OK, I get the ego thing but look up every once in a while...you guys are big and getting punched in the head with a right cross hurt. Ironman training at its finest. I suppose it was all actually good for me, yeah, I better get used to it and learn how to 'shake it off' and just keep swimming. I guess I'm just so sensitive to the fact that I may be slower than you so I'll get behind YOU...why would I want someone smacking my feet all the time?